Good day all.
It has been about three months since I wrote last here and if I have any regular readers I apologize. The reason is because I have been facing some crossroads in my own life. We all face crossroads every day, some simple and some not so simple. The simple ones are easy to navigate and usually have some very obvious road signs, others are not so simple and involve choices where either direction may be the right answer.
One of the big crossroads I have come to is whether or not to continue writing for the Lord. My readership is poor, my books are not selling, I get no encouragement at home, and you folks that do read this don't comment, (except my two good friends Doris and Tom, thank-you). The road signs were obvious, my writing is not making an impact! I am embarrassed to tell you the conversations I have had with the Lord over this issue. They went something like this:
" I want you to write for me son", said the Lord.
" I have to make a living Lord", said I
"Don't worry about that", said He
" I can't be any good, no one reads my stuff" said I
" Don't worry about that either, trust me" said he
On and on and on I would argue, but He patiently kept insisting, so here I am back at the computer and back at the blog. I most likely won't be posting regularly as I have tried to in the past ( I still have to make a living and have family obligations when I am at home) but will do the best I can.
Through this struggle, I had lost some of the Joy I had in the Lord and that was my big fish (like Jonah). It occurred to me that my pride had once again raised it's ugly head , that my motive had become subtly self-centered rather than God centered. At least in this part of my life I was not following God's will. When God places a call on your heart and you buck it, it is nearly always an issue of pride. It was for Jonah and it was for me too.
So what to do about?
Surrender! Give up, turn around, in short repent.
As I have said before, repentance is not a mere mumbling of I am sorry, anyone can be sorry and not really mean it, they are just trying to appease others and think they themselves have done no wrong. As C.S.Lewis says "It takes a good man to repent"
No, repentance is a real crossroad, it's a changing of direction.
Real repentance requires honesty and humility. Repentance requires you to be willing to admit that you played a part in the problem. That's hard because pride says it is the other persons fault, ie I blamed God for my stuff not being read or sold.
Even though our dictionary says that repent is a noun and describes a deep sorrow for wrongs committed, I think of it more as a verb, an action word. Emotions are fickle at best, but an action is a demonstration of what is in your heart. Consider Jesus words:
Mat_15:18 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart.....
"How can I repair the damage done?" needs to be the question. The answers are not always easy but if you wish to experience forgivness and it's accompanying joy, then you do it.
As always, my written words are for Believers in Jesus as the Christ. You can live a moral and good life without Jesus, many do, but to experience the real Joy that God has created us for, the Nirvanah of other traditions, the pleasure that drug users try to duplicate (and fail at) then come to the cross! They door is open! All it requires is a true repentance before God of past wrongs and a belief that Jesus is the Christ, God does the rest and will grant you the Joy and peace that only He can.
If you are a believer and you're not having conversations with God like the one recorded here, there maybe a reason and you should get my book "Yahweh the God Who Speaks and How to Hear Him". My book is very practical and easy to understand. God is speaking to you right now, can you hear Him? You can get it by clicking on the title of the book above or search for books by Leslie Auger on Amazon, Thank-you