It has occurred to me that for every effect their is a cause. Now that's not new news, and of course I have heard this and observed it since childhood, but I have put it together in a new way for me in my mind.
Science has taught us that for every effect there is a cause but what I was missing and it seems many others do is - - reason.
The simplicity of this in Nature is beautiful. If I drop a ball, it will fall. The Cause gravity, the Reason I did something (dropped the ball). The Effect the ball falls. Very simple yet, is it? The ball falls because there is a law of physics called gravity. Gravity is not understood but it is a law here on this planet. If I dropped that same ball in space it would not fall. It would not move until a force outside of it's self effects it.
Then there is the fact that I dropped it, that is a reason that begs more questions, why did I drop it?, how did I drop it? What forces where at play that caused me to want to drop it? And why?
When it comes to human relations Cause, Reason and Effect becomes incredibly complicated.
A husband speaks harshly to his wife, (the cause), the wife is offended, (the effect), the Reason for his harsh comment may not be known even to the husband, just the same as gravity, while a fact, the reason is unknown
Same for the wife, while the fact is she is offended, the cause may be unknown. Her self-esteem may be effected, a memory of a previous hurt may have been sensed, a value may have been trespassed, an expectation denied, the list can be very lengthy.
So what happens?
It depends on many more factors, such as the degree of the offense, the character of the wife, the character of the husband, the experiences of both.
Why did the husband speak harshly? Was an expectation violated?, was he tired?, did he misunderstand something?, was he irritated by something else in his life?
Without a lifestyle of understanding and forgiveness this moment may erupt into a major conflict. The wife may react with coldness or hostility which inflames the husband and the cycle continues growing ever bigger.
There is a reason for every human conflict. It may not be fully understood by those involved as gravity is not fully understood by science, however, we can stop the effect by seeking to understand the other person involved, examining our own feelings against a standard of values, then extending forgiveness to the offender and ourselves. This is I believe what God meant when Jesus declared:
Mat 22:37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
Mat 22:38 This is the first and great commandment.
Mat 22:39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
Mat 22:40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.
Loving God is the standard, we can see how he loves us and how He forgives us when we mess up.
Loving our-self, is the old axiom treat others as you would want to be treated, the "Golden Rule".
Forgiveness, automatically follows when these two Laws are lived. However you may have to deal with your emotions before forgiveness can be found, and that's another subject.