I had an amazing experience last week that I would like to share with you today. I would have shared it last week but we had a very busy weekend preparing for the upcoming move.
I had had another wonderful day in the Lord, communing with Him, experiencing deep joy all day, not a single thing was "wrong", then it happened, someone criticized me and I began to build a resentment before I retired for the night. I didn't even recognize it as a resentment, I just got upset over the criticism and failed to stop and bring it to the Lord for forgivness for feeling anger towards another person. I didn't because I felt justified as the criticism was out of the other persons ignorance
Of course, I had a bit of trouble sleeping since my mind Kept going back to that criticism. I did finally fall asleep but when I awoke that morning, for the first time in years, my back and shoulder where in excruciating pain.. This went on for a few hours with the pain growing worse. No longer did I have any thoughts about the critical comment made to me only the pain.
Then came the lesson, a friend called and I began to tell him about my pain, he said, " you know when I am in pain it is almost always because I am in resentment." Then I saw it! Immediately I felt the muscles in my shoulder begin to relax and within a mere 2 or 3 minutes most of the pain was gone.
Resentment is a sin, it is the re-feeling of anger, the intentional effort to keep alive a wrong done to you or done by you. It is in opposition to forgivness and Love.
In my struggles with gluttony I have learned that resentment keeps us in sin and keeps us from accessing the power of God. I have worked hard at rooting out resentments but, in this lesson that the Lord taught me, showed me just how connected the two are and how subtle they can be. When a perceived wrong is not forgiven it becomes a resentment and that resentment will be "stored" in our body. It will find expression in some way. God never intended us to live in sin and when we are filled with the Holy Spirit we are causing Him pain which will manifest in some negative way.
I used the above verse in this post because resentment is a "stone " we wish to throw at another person. Resentment tries to justify itself, yet, when we honestly evaluate it, we find that we had some part in creating the condition that caused the angry feelings and we feel justified to condemn the other party. There are of course exceptions to this concept, but even then we are not justified in keeping the anger and not forgiving. Our Lord taught by example and on the cross He uttered these words, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34).
Holy Father continue to help me search out and forgive the sin of resentment in my life, I pray that this short share may help others in their walk with you to live the joy filled life you have for us not just in the future but here and now. Amen